As a copyeditor, I’m often briefed to remove wordiness. But what is it, why is it bad and where do you draw the line?
First, let’s get clear on what it is. Wordiness is when you use more words than necessary to express an idea. This can include:
fillers (e.g. needless to say, sort of)
redundancies (e.g. end result, PIN number)
too many intensifiers (e.g. very, really)
too many moderators (e.g. quite, somewhat)
too many mitigators (e.g. slightly, a little)
lengthy constructions (e.g. has the effect of, finding yourself having to)
too many long or complex words (e.g. evidenced, utilisation).
If your writing is too wordy, readers can get bored, impatient or confused. And that’s the last thing you need if you want to educate, build trust or prompt readers to take action. So here are some examples of wordy sentences and how you can correct them:
❌ People are finding themselves having to use free services.
✅ People are using free services.
❌ These are quite literally the worst results we’ve had.
✅ These are the worst results we’ve had.
❌ When I was working as a chiropractor, I worked with a lot of sportspeople.
✅ As a chiropractor, I worked with a lot of sportspeople.
❌ Try and make an effort to be polite.
✅ Make an effort to be polite.
❌ If you struggle to pay your bills, I would suggest that you consider seeing a financial counsellor.
✅ If you struggle to pay your bills, consider seeing a financial counsellor.
❌ Each of us needs to try harder as individuals.
✅ We need to try harder.
❌ We use social media platforms to interface with our customers.
✅ We use social media to communicate with our customers.
As you can see, the second ones are shorter, tighter and easier to read. And I didn’t have to do any rewriting or recasting (except for the last two). All I did was remove a couple of words.
Of course, there are times when fillers or intensifiers are appropriate (e.g. if you’re emphasising a point or writing in a conversational style). But in general, keep them to a minimum to avoid unnecessary friction.
That said, eliminating wordiness is always a delicate balance. Going too far can strip your writing of personality and make it sound like everyone’s favourite AI minion (you know who I mean)!
It can also happen if you use grammar checkers like Grammarly. They often suggest changes that can change your tone. (Unlike a robot, human editors use their judgement – and deep knowledge of your voice – to determine what should stay and what should go. For more, see Will AI Replace Editors?)
In the end, it’s about clarity and always keeping your target audience in mind. So when you’re editing for wordiness, ask yourself:
Do I have to read the sentence twice to understand its meaning?
Will those extra words engage or put off my target audience?
Is every word in the sentence necessary?
Am I explaining things that are obvious?
Am I making an idea unnecessarily complicated?
Am I out of breath when I read the sentence out loud?
And then edit accordingly … or better yet, let me do the hard yakka for you! If you need someone to polish your writing so you can educate, inspire or persuade readers to take action, drop me a line or request a sample edit.
Comments